oh my god. i have really let myself go. i am so afraid to look at the scale right now. i know its back up to 150. i was doing so well too. i don't have that much to say right now, except that i just got back from my friend's 4th party and i ate cake. i ate cake! and half a hot dog and rolos. its soo easy to get caught up in eating when all of your friends are and then they stare at you and wonder why you aren't eating anything. i hate myself. i feel like the fattest pig ever.
also, my sister decided to wear a tank today and she looks soooo skinny. i am so jealous of her. and she is now even a little bit taller than me, even though she is younger. ugg. she has everything. and my father always makes stupid jokes about how i eat too much (even though i'm not really eating i'm c&s'ing it). ugg i really feel fat just writing this. i know how horrible it feels to be full. i'm sorry i'm so down girls, i just hope i can not eat anything from now on...
About Me
- ThinKiss ♥
- I'm just a girl with a blog. I am not ana, but i consider myself to be obsessed with my own weight and personal goals. I admit that i am a disordered eater but i don't have an eating disorder. I hate my body and i plan to change that. I don't think that bones and emaciation are beautiful; i think earning the right to be described as skinny by other people is heaven. This is just a way for me to track my progress, express my feelings, maybe post a little thinspo, and my current musings and findings.
Aw, I'm sorry. ):
ReplyDeleteYou can still get to your goal weight by the end of summer though. It's not like it's impossible.
That's no good, dear :( But just forget about your sister and dad for the moment, and concentrate on your goal. Eating some cake isn't the end of it all. Just get back up on track and go for it!
ReplyDeletexoxo
Ugh, parties are the worst! But you've got a great attitude-- if you can turn your fear of fat into a fear of food, you've solved half your problem, right? It's all about using your anger ~productively~ :)
ReplyDeleteAnyways, good luck with tomorrow-- like journeytoperfection said, some cake and candy isn't the end of the world.