after starving myself.

well i just woke up, and i am about to go to school again today. the only reason i have really been trying hard to make myself presentable for the past week is because of him. i adore him. he's lovely and smart and funny. and he's a sophomore.

i have lost about 8lbs b/c my weight skyrocketed after last week for reasons unknown. i think i am getting to a point where i just don't want to eat. i love being hungry. and i calculated all my calories for the last few days, and together they are like less than 2000. i am sooo happy. even my jeans feel just a tiny bit looser than before. my old tight size 8's are now perfectly fitting size 8's. and if that can happen with this little amount of effort (because i am still eating, just not a lot) then i can't wait to be a size 4, or even a 2 in american eagle jeans. i want to be as skinny as my sister. NO. i am going to be skinnier than my size 4 sister. if i ever need thinspiration, i just look at her and think what a fat pig i am.