i hate food

i hate it sooo much i could probably murder it. i wish it was the other way around; eat whatever i want and get skinnier. look at this picture. which one looks the best? well duh, the one on the left. right now i feel like the one on the far right. i hate having fat just blubbering around and uggg..

okay well i'm glad i got that out of me. yesterday was horrible, if you read my last post. and i plan to put it behind me. i figure if i can fast hardcore today, i can keep it up until camp. also, it may be annoying but these are my thoughts, i talk about my skinny sister alot. she's like my inspiration, she's me skinnier with a different face. i asked her what she ate yesterday and she said this: oh my god nothing! haha i like was so caught up in this book i totally forgot to eat. no honey, you don't forget to eat. at least if you're me: thinking about food 24/7 and how i'm going to avoid the next meal. uggg she doesn't eat anything and i am soo jealious because it's like she doesn't even try. she just forgets to eat. on a brighter note, i only gained .4 of a pound after all this.

well. that is me today, i have never felt more like not eating in my life. maybe i'm not ana, but i'm for sure ED-NOS. there. that's all i have to say... hopefully you all are doing better.

P.S. i'm also wondering if laxatives work, for those who use 'em? i use to when i had some around the house, but i wasn't sure when to take them. THANX :) peace. love. thin.