i broke into tears at the doctors office today. it was horrible to hear this.. my turn... 5'5" 155 lbs. sisters turn... 5'7" 125 lbs. oh my god i was so sad. one because i know i am not 5'5 i am 5'6 and i will never be 5'9 like im supposed to be and mainly i cried because my stupid sister is so thin. i want to be her. and today while i am full i weighed in at 158. i am so close to touching my old top weight.
i will be thin. i will starve tomorrow. i will go on a total complete water fast. my dad is muslim so i can just say its practice fasting. i hate myself so much i feel so fat and i want to be thin. i hate hate hate myself.
i will be at my goal of now.. i upped it to 130 bc im so fat. by christmas at the very least.
now i need to start back up and read blogs on here. i've just been too lazy. and fat.
thanks all.
About Me
- ThinKiss ♥
- I'm just a girl with a blog. I am not ana, but i consider myself to be obsessed with my own weight and personal goals. I admit that i am a disordered eater but i don't have an eating disorder. I hate my body and i plan to change that. I don't think that bones and emaciation are beautiful; i think earning the right to be described as skinny by other people is heaven. This is just a way for me to track my progress, express my feelings, maybe post a little thinspo, and my current musings and findings.
oh god that's the worst! i think my version of hell will be standing in line to get weighed surrounded by all these thinspo girls and knowing that the weight will be read out loud.
ReplyDeletei'm so SO so sorry but i know you can be strong and someday, you'll reach your goal weight and you'll feel fabulous and happy and you'll forget all about this nonsense.
and trust me, competing against your sister always ends poorly and creates extra stress. and stress raises cortisol which creates belly fat. so for the sake of your sanity and your belly, don't let the sister get to you!!
xoxo,
rubes
It will be okay. Channel that emotion into achieving change. Just do what exercise you can to speed up the loss and stick to healthy foods. You CAN do it. You know it's possible, and you know how. Just take care of yourself so there's a happy person to enjoy being thin once you get there :)
ReplyDeletei have a thin sister too :(
ReplyDeletecan i ask, why were you both being weighed?
omg girl, i am so sorry.
ReplyDeletei am super jealous of your sister too. im 5' 7" and fat. she is where i want to be D:
i think this is your rock bottom, now lets do something about it. i am here for you! you know what, i was thinking about revising the abc diet to fit my style of restriction, i could give it to you to try too and we could be each others support =)
I know what you feel like
ReplyDeleteI'm 5''6 and my sister is 5''8
She rubs her skinniness in my face all the time, and ALWAYS has to peer over my shoulder at doctor appointment.
I really hope you feel better and had luck with the fast :)
It's just nice to know that
I'm not alone
xo,
Aurélia