play and drive

this has been the absolutely most horrible week of my life. I hate how if I do badly at the beginning of the say, I have to turn the whole day/week into a pigout. I seriously feel like i stuffed my face today. I am so afraid to look at the scale right now that i will wait until tomorrow morning. although i really should weigh right now, to scare myself into not eating. i swore last summer that i would never be over 150 again in my entire life.

sadly tomorrow is a little kids birthday party i must attend, and visiting family means eating out and eating out means ordering an enormous hamburger with fries and the works. its so hard when everyone else is eating. i can't count the number of times i wish food just didn't appeal to me. i wake up and i actually get a little excited about pouring a bowl of cereal because i can't have it any other time of the day.

i want to get rid of that feeling tomorrow. this will be my meal plan tomorrow, yes unusually unhealthy for tomorrow but ill be back on track for sunday and monday):
b-greek yogurt (120)
l-small pizza or cake slice (400)
d-4 bites of whatever is at the restaurant (300)
if i get super hungry (which i will) i can eat grapes and NO PB AND NO HONEY (weakness) and drink tons of tea and water

there. that will do.